April 27, 2011

Dear Students;

I have read the letter from the Dean and I am painfully aware that my mental distress is unimportant and that her only comment about it was that it was unfortunate. Her cynical tone is subjective and dehumanizing to my existence.  What I interpret is what matters most to her is the work being on women at war, (is such a hot topic and research worthy). It’s just too bad. The lack of respect and dignity by the author in authorizing this knowing my feelings about writing my story continues to keep me in survival mode. Helen knew that the sole purpose of financially supporting the service women’s action network not only went unheard and dismissed, she continues to perpetrate me and others because she has a release to further exploit us. What is unconscionable is that the Dean approves of it.

Helen Benedict is also “public domain” as she is a public figure. Perhaps the class should have written about a journalist who catches traumatized soldiers in their most vulnerable state to obtain this information and what the macro, mezzo and micro affects are on a veteran or soldier. I can tell you that I am not the only one in the book who has this issue, and have asked another participant of the book to write me a letter about her experience with Helen Benedict. As a journalist, Helen’s task is to get the story, I see now that her intentions were to get the word out first so that she could be seen as the expert. Now you all know why it is so hard to find veterans to talk to. This is precisely what happens. The author loses regard for the human aspect of the individual they interviewed and go on to promote their work. I hope that any of you who may have to do this in the future will remember that people should know all the implications of being interviewed before you interview them. As I said I had one reason alone to do this.

If I had known Helen’s true character, I would not have allowed an interview—If I had know that (1), Helen would not keep her word and lose her integrity with me, with SWAN members and many veterans  oppose her way to get “the word out”; (2) that she would allow further wounding after coming across so concerned and caring, making me believe this to be a worthy cause.   She seems unconscious of the consequences of her actions in her allowing this book to be used this way. Had I realized it, I would not have proceeded with the interview. Maybe Profit on the pain and suffering of a war veterans who haven’t been home all that long and  were not in treatment, wasn’t her concern because she wanted to get the raw version of what had returned.

The Capstone Committee knew that would impact me, and their excuse for not telling me was that they didn’t want to traumatize me further (according to Marion the person who originally called me). She also stated that she was concerned over my reaction to the posters and the diagnosis that I might learn. 400 students can share this knowledge but not me. If she is so concerned then the committee needs to re-think this. How can anyone who learns they are being subjected to this not be able have a say so in the project without consultation. What does that say about their intentions? Helen Benedict knew that I wanted nothing more to do with the book and with her, yet when she is out speaking she uses my story to read from. How respectful is that? Then she takes it to her own university to further the damage.

I am in total P.T.S.D. mode right now and I am not sure what my next step will be. She is my commander all over again. Helen’s thinking about me is very small; she fails to see the big picture of what I am speaking. It is not about racism although I see this as another experiment on a Native Woman, colonialism again showing up in my face. That’s right-- sign on the dotted line-- we make promises we never intend to keep. Ask any Native brother or sister and they will answer the same.  Rather, the larger picture in this issue concerns trust, integrity and honoring commitments, none of which are happening or have happened since the book was published.

If it is indeed the  social worker’s responsibility to consider part of your code of ethics whether I am considered public domain or not, I find it indeed troublesome that this part of the law would allow pain and suffering to continue on such a level that the committee cannot see or care what this is doing to me. Should the law’s potential gray areas override the pain and suffering of a human being?(although I am seen as a subject) Does that feel right to continue?

Perhaps a court of law needs to set a new precedent regarding returning military personnel, and needs to decide whether a story that constitutes further injury by taking the stories  into a micro analysis of the person’s life to such a magnitude of invasiveness.  After all public domain is anyone who has ever blogged, written an article or has a utube video on the web. Is it okay to psychoanalyze any individual knowing it causes further trauma? Isn’t there and ethical responsibility? Do we confuse the law with the moral obligation to protect those being researched? Perhaps the question is about what is really public domain. I am not a movie star who expects to be intruded on. I shared a story to support a cause that didn’t get supported.

You have all heard me speak what is true for me in my life. My intention is to seek legal counsel on what can be done with Helen and to retract my approval for her published story. I was under duress when she interviewed me, just barely seeking therapy, and I am under duress again and in therapy again, due to her disregard for the humanity of my life. She continues to cause me pain and suffering and all anyone can say is “It is unfortunate”. Is that social work at its best?

 I invite you to look in your hearts to give me back my dignity and my humanity not because a law is broken, but because my spirit is shattering every day I have to deal with this. I have a mental disability and at this rate I’m not sure that I will ever recover from this continuous battle with Helen that has now included the Department of Social Work at Columbia University.

 I couldn’t follow up with Helen in 2009 due to a life threatening illness that has taken me over a year to recover from.  Shortly after our last interaction I became ill and couldn’t do anything. Couldn’t drive, eat, and walk for a whole year. I am lucky to be alive thanks to holistic medicine and my friend who is a medicine woman.  In 2010 I was walking again but shared my information about my illness to a few friends. I am told by my physician that I must have as little as stress as possible or face the fact that my illness will return and affect my quality of life. So I just want you to know why it’s taken so long to address this. Perhaps that is why this happened. I do not believe everything happens for a reason.  All of you, all the vets and journalists are the reason.

  Below is an excerpt of your ethics.  Whether I am a client or a subject for study because I am deemed a public figure, these ethics should be considered regardless of what is being done right according to those in power. Do things get done right or do we do the right thing? This is what I ask you to consider.

 http://www.socialwork.msu.edu/ethics/nasweth.html#502

Social workers engaged in evaluation or research should protect participants from unwarranted physical or mental distress, harm, danger, or deprivation.

Social workers should act to prevent and eliminate domination of, exploitation of, and discrimination against any person, group, or class on the basis of race, ethnicity, national origin, color, sex, sexual orientation, age, marital status, political belief, religion, or mental or physical disability.

I look forward to seeing you all as I have made arrangements to fly to NY within the next two days.  My passion is to help people, especially veterans. In fact, I house homeless veterans in my home constantly because systems don’t work well enough to help them. I am a stand for Peace and I am a stand for Justice. It is my life’s work, soon to be all of yours.

If I were dead or didn’t care about the exploitation of military people, I could let it ride. But it matters, just as your choices matter. I speak not only for myself, but for other veteran women wounded by journalists and now social workers; it just keeps growing. We haven’t been home that long and we are still raw in many places in our lives. The committee considered that and felt that not informing me was for my best interest. As you can see, it has done more harm than good. If they made that decision and found out it was causing me mental distress, then why can’t they change it now to reflect a less painful avenue as I have suggested. I am tired as being seen as less than. Having an elite attitude has no place in real social work.

Please consider my life, my work and my words. The Pillow has not been torn open yet. I believe I have suggested some rather easy options to continue with your work.  Perhaps you can change the name on the report and use Helen Benedict’s name instead of mine. After all she is a public figure. Let her name be on it. Not sure what the ramifications of that would be, but it would be justice. That’s just me being cynical.

Standing in my truth

Respectfully,

Eli PaintedCrow

Eli PaintedCrow

SFC US Army Ret.

Advocate for Peace

Advocate for soldiers